Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through …
November 26, 2008
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through …
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death … we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Source: jokes4all.net
- : 2.9
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only …
November 26, 2008
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only …
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.
Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.
One day, deep in the wilds, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting himself into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out in to the open and offered herself to him.
As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch really hard.
In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?".
Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels first."
Source: jokes4all.net
- : 3.0
What is the difference between men and government bonds? …
November 26, 2008
What is the difference between men and government bonds? …
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
Source: jokes4all.net
- : 3.0
Thanksgiving Divorce
November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way. But how are we going to get them here for Christmas?”
Source: www.lowcomdom.com
- : 2.9
Yo Momma So Poor - Sat, 22 Nov 2008
November 25, 2008
Yo Momma So Poor - Sat, 22 Nov 2008
Yo momma so poor, when I stepped on a lit cigarette she yelled, “Who turned off the heat?”
Source: www.comedy.com
- : 3.0
Two television sets got married. The …
November 24, 2008
Two television sets got married. The …
Two television sets got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception wasbeautiful.
Source: jokesareawesome.com
- : 3.1
One hot summer day, a man is filling up…
November 23, 2008
One hot summer day, a man is filling up…
One hot summer day, a man is filling up his black pickup truck at the local gas station. He isn’t very careful, and he gets gasoline all over his jacket’s left sleeve. He ignores it, and leaves the station after paying for the gas. As he’s driving down the highway, the heat of the sun on his truck’s black paint is enough to ignite his jacket sleeve. He drives faster, waving his arm out the window in an attempt to extinguish the flames, but they burn hotter! As he speeds down the highway, a state trooper sees the situation and pulls him over. He jerks the man out of the truck and rolls him on the ground until the fire is extinguished. As the man dusts himself and thanks his rescuer, he sees the officer is writing him a summons! Confused, he asks, “You’re writing me a ticket!? What for?” The officer replies, “Posession of an illegal fire arm.”
Source: jokesareawesome.com
- : 3.2
Why would I lie? This is the Internet!
November 23, 2008
Why would I lie? This is the Internet!
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile. A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named. When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, [...]
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.
A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.
When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath.’
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.’
The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, ‘What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren’t there then.’
The Indian representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.’
Source: treebeard31.wordpress.com
- : 2.4
Bush Jazz
November 23, 2008
Bush Jazz
President Bush hosted a White House dinner in honor of American jazz. It’s a style of music that is improvised and isn’t well orchestrated. And for some reason, he really identifies with it.
Alan Ray http://www.araycomedy.com
Source: www.lowcomdom.com
- : 3.5
A man and his dog walk into a bar. …
November 22, 2008
A man and his dog walk into a bar. …
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure … go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
Source: jokes4all.net
- : 2.5
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